I’m still uncertain what to make of this picture, but it’s definitely going down as one of Bush’s memorable photo-ops. Here is Dumbya, being offered by Misty-Mae Treanor to smack that. Apparently, all he resorted to was a restrained tap on the small of her back. Now, Clinton, may have had a full-blown (no pun intended) threesome with the team, but that’s just my opinion.

Moving on, at what point during the last few days did this warmongering president actually work up the nerves to speak out against Russian aggression? It all looks like an infantile little tantrum he’s throwing, because those “pink commie Ruskis” are stealing his battleground thunder. The hypocrisy is amusing. The current circumstances of the Georgian-Russian conflict over South Ossetia, however, not all that much. Here’s a historical timeline, for the sake of context.

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Shower me with blessings. No second-guessing.
‘Cause God, herself, is sitting on the edge of my
bed, slowly undressing. A night symbolic as the
resurrection. I’m about to slide up in the kingdom
of God with no protection.

And I can guarantee a second coming. ‘Cause I
already hear the drummer boy barumpumpum
pumming. A host of angels look at me through
your eyes. My first communion with my hands
on your thighs. You’re catching the spirit, the Holy
Ghost and the fire. Yo, this is wild.

I’m every Jay-Z album played in reverse. I’m
risen from blunt ash and stashed in a purse.
I’m smuggled over borders, contraband, ‘though
I rock. I paper. I scissor. Nah, NGH, no Glock.

- Saul Williams
The Dead Emcee Scrolls: The Lost Teachings of Hip-Hop

Carlin’s irreverent, hilarious, and poignant takes on religion, war, language, drugs, obscenity, and politics will remain timeless and relevant. Spanning a career of 50 years, this “counter-culture hero” has cultivated a whole generation of secular and independent thinkers, and his “Seven Words” routine went as far as the Supreme Court, where a 5-4 decision asserted the government’s right to censor and regulate the rants of Carlin during public performances. That was in 1978. He took what Lenny Bruce did on stage and put it on steroids, as a more menacing and yet hilarious diatribe on all the silly and illogical structures that seem to dictate the way our species functions.

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I realize it’s damn near two weeks late, but the second installment of Radio Elite is now available for download right here.

Having said that,

• Why do people believe the strangest things? Michael Shermer has a few ideas.
• I need a late pass for this one: scientists (at Stemagen) have successfully created the first cloned human embryo from skin cells. “Humans should not be playing god,” you say? Why, dear thinking primates, god has been playing humans for so long! Let’s flip the script and fuck around a little bit … give the “almighty” a nice little existential crisis.
• Commodes are meant to be sat on in the right direction. If you sit at a 90-degree angle, you’ll be unpleasantly surprised by a doo-doo bridge between your sphincter and the porcelain, in an ungodly tug-o-war. Unnecessary information, I know. But I’m perfect, and you’re not. Deal with it.
• Pretty intense: the impossible art of Li Wei
• A friend just asked me:
  

  the only sound advice i need now is … navigating the fine line between muffling her screams of exctasy with a pillow … and accidentally discovering you’re into necrophilia. how do i get rid of the body dude?

• I’ve ranted about cheetos in the past. And today, someone sends me a link for Random Acts of Cheetos. Unbridled hilarity of epic proportions.

That’s it. If you need me, I’ll be in the Beyond section at Bed, Bath & Beyond, licking furniture and smelling colors to improve my synesthesia.