Number 1. Number 2. And number 1. 94 times! 200-something times! John McCain did too! 10 billion dollars! 8 years. 8 years. 8 years. Bushes. Bushes. Bushes. McCain. Bushes. Also, can I call you Joe? Betcha by golly gosh darnit. Number 1. Number 2. Maverick. Maverick. Maverick. CHANGE! Maverick. Maverick. Maverick. Real Change. Deregulation. 5,000! 250,000! 1 million! 10 billion! Trillions! 8 years. Also! And but also. You betcha. Environment. Cyclical temperature changes.

(wait, did she just blame the global warming on the changing of seasons?)

Environment. Man. Activity. Warming. Measures, measures, measures. Bushes. Number 1. Number 2.  Barack. John. Barack. John. MORE vice-presidential power for one, please. Bad jokes that nobody got. More. Less. More. Less. Change! Maverick! No child left behind, with some flexibilities!

(err … that implies some children left behind?)

Surge. Pre-surge. Petraeus. McClelland. Kissinger. Timeline. Timeline. Pull-out! Surge. Pull-out! Surge. Pull-out! Number 1. Number 2. Charactercriatceritization. Newkiller. Old killer. Change! Maverick!

We have gay friends. But we hate them, really. But we love them. I love John McCain, bless his soul But he’s dead wrong. Surrender! White flag! Pull-out! Number 1. Number 2.

*crickets*

NO WAIT! Environment. Big oil. Exxon. Big oil. Tax cuts. Big oil. Health. Health. Health. Insurance. The middle class. The wealthy. The middle class. The wealthy. Wealth redistribution. I’m a single mother, too!

*sob. sniff. *

Number 1. Number 2. Change! Maverick! Change! Maverick! Ice Man! Top Gun?

WHAT. THE. FUCK!?

Sarah Palin and The Rape Kits: Nice name for a punk band …

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